One of the things I hear most frequently from new birthparents is, "If ONLY I had known." People in a crisis pregnancy are especially prone to denial, and as a result it's very hard to accurately imagine what adoption will be like. In an effort to try to educate the women who are currently considering adoption, I wrote an essay listing the things I wish I'd known back when I was in that situation (and was stuck in major denial myself).
The quick summary is this: Adoption might well be the best option for you and your child, but in order for you to have peace, it needs to be a well-considered decision, made at least twice (once before the birth, and again after the birth). Before you make any commitments, you need to hear all sides...the negative as well as the positive. Most adoption agencies, lawyers, and facilitators will never tell you the downsides, or they will minimize them to the point that you don't have the information to make an informed decision. That's why I wrote this brochure.
To read it, click below. It's in PDF format, meaning you can view it, save it, print it out, and distribute it as you like. All you need is the free Adobe Acrobat Reader, version 5.0. To get that, visit Adobe's site.
Please visit the guestbook at the bottom of this page if you are a birthparent wanting to add your own advice to this site.
When I Was Considering Adoption
Read it here.
copyright Heather Lowe, 1999-2004
hslowe@earthlink.net
