I gave birth to my son on November 12, 1998.
He was entrusted in open adoption to friends of my sister.
Since then I've done a fair amount of writing and speaking
on the birthmother experience. Here are some of my articles:

* Since only a fellow birthmother understands what it feels like to lose your child to adoption, I'm always happy to talk to other birthmoms at all stages of the lifelong adoption experience.

* If you're considering making an adoption plan for your child, please read this advice from women who are living with adoption.

* Too often promises make in open adoption get broken. Read about this phenomenon here.

* I also write a blog for women in unplanned pregnancies. You can read it here.

Finally, if you just need an e-pal, feel free to write me at hslowe@gmail.com.

With one in six Americans touched by adoption today, there are millions of us birthmothers around. You don't have to feel alone. If you need someone to talk to--someone who "gets it"--consider joining one of the many Internet mailing lists for birthparents, both in open and closed adoption. YahooGroups.com has literally hundreds of them alone.

Some of the best:

For open adoption birthmoms, there's First Moms, a list of about 100 women in all kinds of open adoptions, from barely open to semi-open to open. It's a great group of women. To join, e-mail a listmom for more information.

There's also the Open Adoption Triad list, which includes adoptees and adoptive parents as well as birthparents. To join, send an e-mail with the subject line, SUBSCRIBE OPEN-ADOPTION.

Cross-cultural adoption birthmoms can find support at the excellent XCulture Adopt, which serves triad members in cross-cultural and transracial adoptions. To join, visit their site.

For closed adoption birthmothers, Alana's Sunflower Birthmoms list is probably the best. E-mail the listowner or visit the list website at bmom.net. They also have a list for Reunited Birthmoms.

Finally, if you're up for activism, consider entering the discussion at one of many forums. One of the best is Soul of Adoption.

If e-mail isn't enough and you need a soft shoulder in real life, I suggest joining or starting your own support group. One way to meet other birthparents in real life is by joining Meetup.com. It's a free, quick and easy way to connect with other birthparents in your own town. The web site organizes a monthly meeting for you--all you have to do is pick a venue and show up.

A nice web site for birthmoms, created by a birthmom in an open adoption, is Lifemothers. Check it out.

Birthmoms Who Blog:

The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Wet Feet
Musings of the Lame

Elsewhere on Heather's site:

Click here to go to the main page.

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