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I gave birth to my son on November 12, 1998.
He was entrusted in open adoption to friends of my sister.
Since then I've done a fair amount of writing and speaking
on the birthmother experience. Here are some of my articles:

* Since only a fellow birthmother understands what it feels like to lose your child to adoption, I'm always happy to talk to other birthmoms at all stages of the lifelong adoption experience.

* If you're considering making an adoption plan for your child, please read this advice from women who are living with adoption.

* Too often promises make in open adoption get broken. Read about this phenomenon here.

* I also write a blog for women in unplanned pregnancies. You can read it here.

Finally, if you just need an e-pal, feel free to write me at

With one in six Americans touched by adoption today, there are millions of us birthmothers around. You don't have to feel alone. If you need someone to talk to--someone who "gets it"--consider joining one of the many Internet mailing lists for birthparents, both in open and closed adoption. has literally hundreds of them alone.

Some of the best:

For open adoption birthmoms, there's First Moms, a list of about 100 women in all kinds of open adoptions, from barely open to semi-open to open. It's a great group of women. To join, e-mail a listmom for more information.

There's also the Open Adoption Triad list, which includes adoptees and adoptive parents as well as birthparents. To join, send an e-mail with the subject line, SUBSCRIBE OPEN-ADOPTION.

Cross-cultural adoption birthmoms can find support at the excellent XCulture Adopt, which serves triad members in cross-cultural and transracial adoptions. To join, visit their site.

For closed adoption birthmothers, Alana's Sunflower Birthmoms list is probably the best. E-mail the listowner or visit the list website at They also have a list for Reunited Birthmoms.

Finally, if you're up for activism, consider entering the discussion at one of many forums. One of the best is Soul of Adoption.

If e-mail isn't enough and you need a soft shoulder in real life, I suggest joining or starting your own support group. One way to meet other birthparents in real life is by joining It's a free, quick and easy way to connect with other birthparents in your own town. The web site organizes a monthly meeting for you--all you have to do is pick a venue and show up.

A nice web site for birthmoms, created by a birthmom in an open adoption, is Lifemothers. Check it out.

Birthmoms Who Blog:

The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Wet Feet
Musings of the Lame

Elsewhere on Heather's site:

Click here to go to the main page.

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